You've Terminated My Heart
by TARDISlover3
Summary: He is dead, and she is to blame. Take all that you know about the Shadow Cabinet, and throw it away. This is as if the Shadow Cabinet never happened.


You've Terminated My Heart

A VERY angsty Stephaura

I'm feeling messed up, so I'm going to write a sad, angsty story to get out all my messed up feelings; I saw Terminator 2, Judgement Day (Understand the title choice?) for the first time tonight. Those who have seen it know why I'm distraught.

So yeah, prepare for angst, angst, and more angst because I'm in a sad, sobby, mood. If any of you have something- a fic, or something- please let me know. I need a hug. Or something to cheer me up.

YTMH

 _"It's Stephen."_

 _"What?"_

 _"I can't wake him up,"_

 _..._

" _But of all the things that could happen to us… the Ripper. The things we see. The things we do. And some car accident…not even a bad one. It's just stupid…"_

 _..._

 _That's when I thought I was really going to lose it._

 _..._

 _"What happens? When the machine is off?"_

 _"The body takes over. Things take their course. It can be minutes or hours."_

 _..._

" _This should never have happened."_

 _..._

 _The beeps became a flat, droning noise._

 _..._

My world was nothing but black.

Black curtains, black dresses, black shoes. Black jackets, black veils, black sunglasses to hide my puffy eyes. I was swimming in a world of black, and I accepted it, because it was my fault the only color around me was the color of death.

I stared up at the ceiling, blinking back tears that had been falling for the past week. There was no one with me, and it wasn't helping at all that I was staying in the exact same room he used to stay in, sleeping under the exact same sheets and laying on the exact same pillow. Lately these days I wouldn't even leave the room, too depressed to get out of bed each day. So I just lay there, trying to ignore the scent of him around me.

We had looked everywhere; Maida Vale, Eton, the boathouse where he'd tried to kill himself, the old flat, everywhere. We just couldn't find him. I had convinced myself that Newman's theory was just a load of crap, so therefore I stopped looking. He was just... gone. And I'd never, ever get him back.

A wave of fresh tears were released, for I was unable to stop them after thinking about everything that had happened. And when I thought about the first, last, and only time we'd kissed, I wanted to throw up, bawl until my eyes were red, or hit something. I did all three.

Even though my lunch was on the floor, my fist was throbbing from hitting the wall, and my eyes stung like fire, I didn't feel good; I barely felt anything except misery. I wondered if this was what it was like, when he was told that his sister had overdosed. Maybe it was. I would never know.

And more tears poured out, and I curled tighter into myself. I cried out his name. "This is all my fault! I should have listened to you, I should have-" I stopped when more tears interrupted my talking. "I'm so, so, sorry!"

There was nothing in the world I could compare this grief to; not even when my pet turtle Mr. Shells (I was at least five when I got him) died. There was a black hole where my heart used to be, and it was sucking all my feelings into it.

"Why did you leave us!?" I sobbed to the ceiling. "Why did you leave _me!?"_ I yanked at my hair. The pain didn't do me any relief; I didn't care. I deserved it anyway. I curled tighter, until I couldn't get smaller, and just sobbed. "You've terminated my heart," I whispered, trying to fight off the exhaustion that was slowly falling over me like a thick blanket. And then I fell into a dreamless sleep, one devoid of car crashes and heart break.

...

A young man stood in the corner of what used to be his room, staring heartbroken at the teenager crying her eyes out on what used to be his pillow, which rested on what used to be his bed. He didn't mind. They weren't important to him anymore. All that mattered was her.

He tried calling out to her, wanted to speak and let her know he was there, hold her in his arms and wipe the tears from her face. He didn't dare; if he touched her, he could be gone forever. So he just stood in the corner, watching. He could just hear what used to be his heart breaking into a thousand tiny pieces over the sound of her crying.

"Why did you leave us!? Why did you leave _me!?"_

There was a sharp pain in his chest, one that didn't go away. He whispered things to her, but she didn't hear him. She would never hear him.

"You've terminated my heart..." Then she curled into a tighter ball, then sobbed herself to sleep.

And he cried.

The End.

I'm sorry, but I'm just feeling so sad! So, again, if there's anything you can do that would make me feel better, let me know.

See you guys later, goodnight.


End file.
